How To: Make a Princess Cake (and Your Daughter Cry)

Inspired by reality televisions new offerings of Cake Boss and Ace of Cakes, I decided to undertake this years cake duties for Ava's birthday. Since we are still enamored with the Disney Princess', I decided a Belle cake would be perfect. A little internet surfing revealed a simple trick: make the cake in a Pampered Chef mixing bowl, flip it over and stick in a doll. This seemed way easier than the duck cake I made for a previous birthday. This also helped justify the ridiculously priced mixing bowl that my wife got guilted in to buying at a Pampered Chef party.

I used 2 boxed cake mixes to fill the bowl and had a little left over for a pedestal. A little mixing, a little Big Ten football and into the oven. While the Internet provided an abundance of decorating tips, it was rather light on cooking times. I was afraid that the center wouldn't cook, so I set the oven at 225 degrees (F) and set the timer for 75 minutes. I sat down on the couch to watch the rest of the game and after waking from a nap (whoops), I realized that 2 hours had passed. I ran to the kitchen and was surprised to find a perfect golden brown cake with center fully cooked.

Our particular Belle doll stood a few inches too tall to make the dress look proportional. Opting for a little structural frosting work as opposed to a amputation, I filled in height with some corner pieces sliced from the base. I ended up cutting around the entire base to match the dress to gaining a little height. Belle got a new Saran wrap dress before the plunge.

To finish it off, I went to town with some ready-mix frosting. I ended up using almost two full containers and applied it with a butter knife. The unsteadiness of my hand actually added some interesting details as I frosted the dress. Just pretend like you meant to do it.

Once I was done with cake (i.e. ran out of frosting), I was pretty please with how it turned out. Margret agreed and I was excited to finally show Ava. I can only describe the look on Ava's face as complete and total horror when she saw the cake. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "You did a very bad thing." She ran crying in her bedroom and slammed the door.

After Ava calmed down and would finally talk to me, she said told me that "you don't cook your friends in the oven". I have to admit, I didn't see that one coming, but it was true. I tried to explain it many different ways, but all I could was to apologize and give her a hug.

We didn't cut the Belle cake that day...in fact she never made it to the party. Together, Ava and I removed her, gave her a bath and put her dress back on. As a family, we all agreed to never discuss it again.

In the App Store: A Day at Free

Last month we conducted a one week marketing experiment to measure the effect of dropping the price of Stork Drop, our baby naming application, from $2.99 to $0.99. While the price drop did increase the volume of sales approximately 200%, the price differential resulted in 33% loss in revenue (based on the weekly average). The most detrimental outcome of this experiment was not the revenue loss but a downgrade of our rating. In our case, the experiment seemed to suggest that price was not a major barrier to purchase for a customer who was willing to make a purchase.

A Highly Inaccurate Breakdown of App Purchasing Behavior
An informal survey of the 30 or so people I know who own an iPhone, suggested to me that only about 1/3 of them have purchased apps.  I am aware of the reports that, on average, an iPhone user has spend $80+ in the App Store, but those numbers are averaged out across the whole population and could be misleading.  Of the 20 I know who have not purchased an app, 15 actively search for free apps to meet their needs.  The other 5 (including my mom and dad), had little intereste in using the iPhone as anything other than a phone (blashphemy).  As a developer, this tells me that no matter how good my app, no matter what features I work feverishly to implement, no matter how slick my artwork is, that there is a large population of iPhone users who will never look past the "$" in the App Store.

Dad, Are You Under the Sea?

Disney's the Little Mermaid has made it back in the rotation.  Of all the princess movies that I am forced to endure, this one is my favorite.  After all, I remember watching it the movie theatres when I was young.  In college, staying home to watch the Little Mermaid was a classic third date.  There is just something about unspoken love, seashell bikinis and humongous merman nipples that seemed to really strike a chord with young adults.  That and the huge phallic on the front cover.

Seeming as I had seen this movie many times before kids, I can pretty much hum my way through all the songs and even chime in with a chorus or two.  Unfortunately for Ava, I never seemed to quite fit the bill.

(Dad humming along to "Part of Your World")

Ava: Dad, are you a girl?
Dad: No.
Ava: Only girls can sing this song.
Dad: Oh, sorry.

(Dad singing along to "Kiss the Girl")

Ava: Dad, are you a bird?
Dad: No.
Ava: Well stop singing. Only birds can sing.
Dad: Oh, sorry.

(Dad singing "Under the Sea")

Ava: Dad, are you under the sea?
Dad: No.
Ava: Well, only people under the sea can sing about under the sea.

(Dad slightly dejected)

Dad: Ok. How about I just drive and you watch the movie.
Ava: Yeah, only Dads can drive, while little girls watch movies.

Review: Britax Boulevard Car Seats

A friend recently asked me for a car seat recommendation and I was surprised at how much I had to say on the subject. We have 2 Britax Boulevard seats that are two model years apart (2006, right and 2008, right).  Fortunately, we haven't been in any serious collisions, so I can't really speak to how they perform their intended purpose.  A car seat is like insurance, you don't know how good it is until you need it...and then its too late.

Proof (of Concept): The Tomato Trellis

During a late night feeding early this spring, I watched a television show about wine making.  One of the more interesting things I learned was about was "trellising".  Trellising is an old technique whereby the vines are trained to grow in flat, open patterns.  This method has several advantages, the most important being that it allows for a greater yield of grapes and takes up less space.

We had been planning on planting a garden this year and felt limited by the small portion of our yard that received enough sun.  This severely limited what we could grow, but we really wanted tomatoes.  Our garden is built against a fence on one side, and I decided to try the trellising technique on tomato plants using the fence as the trellis.

We planted the sprouts about 6 inches from the fence and waited for it to reach sufficient size to begin trellising.  Once it began to lean under its own weight, I trellised it against the fence using some wire.

The Yield
You can't argue with results.  Comparing to our neighbors, who planted the same type of tomatoes the same day, less than 20 feet from our trellis, we outproduced them.  Also, our tomatoes came in later.  We're still getting them today, while most of our friends have picked their last one.  The best part was that we lost very few...they were easy to pick, easy to see against the fence and didn't have to fight gravity.

Mistakes
Mistake 1:  We waited too long.  Several of the branches broke during the trellising.  They were too stubborn and resisted being moved.

Mistake 2: I didn't know which branches to trim and which to keep.  They all had flowers on them and I was hesitant to remove a branch that could develop tomatoes.  I errored on the cautious side and removed a small number of branches that seemed hopeless.  This caused by trellsing to be less than beautiful.  It actually looked like quite a mess, but each branch was supported against the fence.  Given the yield of this year's crop, I would safely remove about 50% of the smaller branches.

Mistake 3: Telling the neighbors I still was getting tomatoes.  Now it seems to be a nighly meeting place to congregate and take 1 for the road.

The Ferris Wheel: A Year in Waiting

 

During our local end of summer carnival, Margret and I took Ava on her first Ferris wheel ride.  She had been anxiously awaiting this ride, as last year she was too short to ride. Of all the things that fleeting escape her memory, the Ferris wheel had stuck with her.

Her excitment was contagious as we boarded the contraption being operated by a man who clearly was under the influence of something.  Her excitement made me forget that I am deathly afraid of heights.  I found it someone more settling to look through the camera viewfinder...somewhat suspending the realty of the situation.  

Together, we all enjoyed the skyline from the top of the Ferris wheel during Ava's first ever spin on the modern marvel.

Diapers and Beer

One of the few things I remember from a business statistics class  taken many years ago was the correlation between beer and diaper purchases by men. Correlation analysis of grocery store data confirms that men, between the ages of 25-35, were purchasing beer and diapers more frequently in combination than was expected.

While you might have just shook your head, it actually makes a lot of sense.  It's late at night, you need diapers so you run to the store.  While at the store you see people shopping without chasing down a three-year old running down an aisle with an open box of Lucky Charms while trying frantically to eat all the marshmallows before you catch her.  You need a drink.  A couple of young women untouched by the "joys" of motherhood walk by without so much as a glance, confirming that you no longer have "it", whatever "it" was.  You need a drink.  You catch your reflection in the store security mirror positioned high in the corner allowing you to see the thinning spot on the top of your head. You need a couple of drinks.

So you bring home a box of diapers and a 12-pack of beer.  Either way, both you and the baby get what you need to make you stop crying.

It may only be a matter of time before advertising agencies pick up on this trend and try cross-promotion.  This is Tad and Lilly and they want to help you learn!  This is Sam Adams and he wants to help your dad forget!

Of course, the other scenario is its Fall, and Sam Adams' Octoberfest is out.  In which case, you don't need a reason to drink because it's a damn fine beer!

How To: Get Your 2 Year-Old to Try Chili

I am aware that this breaks a multitude of parenting "do's and dont's" but you can not argue with results. After the first enticing M&M bite, she ate the entire bowl of chili.

Proof: Your 20 Month Year-Old Needs Her Own iPhone

"Ballerinas don’t wear Crocs"

-Ava, on her footwear dilemma for her first ballet class

Stork Drop 1.2 - Update Available

Stork Drop version 1.2 was just approved in the App Store. Here’s what’s new:

• Twitter integration; automatically tweet your favorites list to your twitter account
• United Kingdom and Canadian popularity statistics
• Real-time name popularity statistics listed in Stork Snoop (see image)
• More name lists (Athletes, Scholars, Celebrity Baby)
• Over 1,000 new names, meanings and origins
• User interface enhancements in Stork Drop game

Proof: My Dad is Cooler Than Your Dad

Well, I guess this proves that you do not have to sell your Shelby Cobra once you have kids.  Really the only difficult thing is to find a car seat that matches.

Not pictured is my mini-van immediately to the left.

How To: Get Your Kids to Grocery Shop on Saturday Morning

Cart donuts!

Labor Day Sale on Stork Drop

Don’t work too hard trying to name your baby. Stork Drop is on sale for $0.99 to celebrate Labor Day…whether that means not working or going into labor.

The Upside of Late Summer

Summer may be coming to an end, but it keeps the ice cream on the cone for a little longer.